Pastor's Sermon
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“Things Kids Need To Know:
Do You Love Me?”
Ephesians 2:4; 1 John 3:18
May 11, 2008
First Baptist Church of DeKalb, IL
Rev. Joe Sanders
Mom’s, if you were 38 and your husband was 42 and you had six children and the oldest one was married and expecting your first grandchild, would you adopt an infant?
Well, Brad was the third son in his family. His dad was the third dad that his mother had chosen in the past 4 years. Brad was the third child that the Family Services had decided couldn’t be raised by his mother.
Walter and Peggy were 42 and 38. They had decided that they would be foster parents. They already had six children of their own with the youngest now in school. For many it seemed that they could now begin to enjoy life together. When the call came from Family Services to be a foster parents for a new born, they didn’t hesitate.
1 John 3:1, 18 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” . . . “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
Did you know that God’s love has been given to us as a gift? We are precious to God. God is filled with loving-kindness and compassion. God’s love is an unselfish love which seems to transcend all of our human empathy and sympathy. Truly, God’s love proves to us that we are His children.
As we experience God’s love we realize it is beyond anything we have previously experienced. God’s love at times seems as thought it is from another world - it is truly foreign to the human race. Yet, God through Jesus is willing to lavishly love every one of us. This is seen as we consider that God allows you and me, people who are sinners, to be called His children. The love God has for us provides a new life, a new birth so that we might be His people - his very own children.
It is not enough to say that God’s love is enormous. As human beings I don’t think we can fully comprehend it. But, through faith in Jesus we can begin to receive it.
The most important question for everyone is, “Do you love me?”
By the time Brad was five, Walter and Peggy had some doubts. Brad was a strong child, big for his age, with an incredible ability to break things. There were times that his family didn’t understand, as he seemed to take pleasure in breaking things that belonged to him or to other family members. Even though he was disciplined and taught to respect other people and their possessions, Brad continued to break things that came into his path.
This was surprising, because Brad seemed to be such an easy going child. He didn’t have an explosive temper. He was easily contented. He liked it when the family did things that would make him laugh, and as a child he had a great laugh. He liked to make others laugh. He learned early to be a good story teller. But at times that was a problem because he couldn’t always sort out the truth when something bad happened.
There was the day when Brad was about 8 or 9 years old that the fire trucks came screaming into the neighborhood. Across the alley and down the street there was fire in a garage. Now, when the fire trucks showed up, Brad was on the front porch. He was just sitting there, literally doing nothing. But something was unusual about the stories he told concerning that old garage and what he was doing when the fire started. Even Walter and Peggy wondered if he could have been involved.
As a teenager Brad seemed to be able to find all the wrong friends. Friends who were getting into fights. Friends who were caught stealing cigarettes from the convenient store. Friends who were drinking. Friends who were breaking into the homes of neighbors and taking small things like radios and tape players. Friends who were breaking windows in stores that were closed. Friends who were knocking down wooden fences. The only constant in all these friendships was Brad.
1 John 3:1, 18 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” . . . “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
This passage speaks to every believer of the surpassing excellence of God’s gracious love for us. God did not require us to be good enough before He saved us. God shows us His love, His grace, His kindness. It is obvious that God has mercifully withheld His judgment that we so completely deserve. God’s love provides for us the unbelievable gifts of forgiveness, and salvation, and eternal life.
As parents we need to take this love that God has for us - what some call unconditional love - and express it to our children. God loves you and me when we have unintentionally sinned against Him. God loves you and me even when we don’t worship Him. God loves you and me when we choose to sin. God loves you and me even when we seek our own path and we don’t follow His.
Our children must know that our love for them is not based upon their performance. Our love for our children can not be withdrawn due their lack mistakes. When they lie to us, when they make bad choices about friends and activities - whether it is sex, or drugs, or alcohol - we need to love them. We need to love them during the tough times. Truly, our children need to be loved most when their life is the hardest.
It goes without saying, but we need to love our children even when their grades are bad. We need to love our children when they make bad choices about friends and activities, when they disappoint and hurt us. We need, as parents, to be willing to forgive and then do our best to forget the offense.
Today, I am not talking about discipline or boundaries, but about loving our children. Our love for our children needs to be expressed with our words - we must say, “I love you”. We know that our children carve the love of their parents. Don’t assume your children know you love them. I have read in more than one place something like this. “I love you until I tell you otherwise; if I ever stop, I’ll let you know.” That’s not what God wants us to do. We must tell our children often that we love them.
I believe that we need to set aside two times every week. This is especially true for families that are still all living together. First, set aside times to discuss what’s going on with your children. Take the time to discuss their experiences, their problems, their dreams, and even their immediate plans. It may seem obvious, but take the time to praise them for the good things they do. Take the time to encourage them as they face challenging situations.
Did you know that every time your child starts to talk to you it’s rarely about the event at school, or in sports, with friends? It may sound like it, but truly it’s about wanting to share their life with you. So, I encourage you to continue to pay attention to them when they are talking.
I know that it’s hard when your driving the car, that unless you have eyes in the back of your head, to make eye contact with the child in the backseat. I my case it was my arm that I was trying swing at one of them. Instead let’s seek to create significant moments when we can express our love to our children. Simply put, make it clear to your children that you love them. I am talking about making the sacrifice to be with your children.
I mentioned earlier to set aside two times every week. The second is set aside time to enjoy one another as a family time. This is the time that you aren’t involved with work - whether it is at your job or when you are work at the house. Set aside time that is not involved with their school or their sports activities or their friends. In these family times try to stop what your doing and give your full attention to your children. I mean stop reading the newspaper, or the book. Turn off the TV. Don’t sort through the mail. Put down your cell phone and turn it off. Shut down the computer. Take the time once a week to do something together as a family. This includes laughing, and talking and listening.
1 John 3:1, 18 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” . . . “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
Our love needs to be shared in our actions - take the time to be with your children. Do what is fun and exciting for them and not for you. Because it’s not about you, it’s about them. Do the things they enjoy doing. As you set aside this weekly family time you will be able to say to your children through your actions, “You are Important to Me”.
When our children are babies there are lots of hugs and kisses. But when they get older, as we get older, those hugs and kissed don’t always happen for some reason. That touch of a parent is still needed. I know of a family that even as their children have become teenagers that they still hug and kiss their parents before going to bed each night.
Let me offer a word of caution about hugs and kisses - don’t force these expressions of your love when you are in any situation that might be considered public. As the parents we need to have respect for our children in the public arena. We need to try not to be overly affectionate with our children in front of strangers or their friends. A rule of thumb is to ask yourself, “who needs the hug, dad or the child?”
However, everyone of us is more affected by actions than by words. What do I mean? We all still need a pat on the back; a caress of the hair; a touch on the check to know that we are loved.
1 John 3:1, 18 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” . . . “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
So all of you who are children, teenagers and even adults pay attention. I know that sometimes as parents we don’t look so cool. I confess, we are out of touch . We look silly trying to dance like Beyonce. We like to watch sports on TV or shows that are boring and make people cry. At times it seems as though all we like to do is work. We are either at the job or we are working around the house. But, we love you.
So, we need you express how you feel about spending your life with us. That’s a radical idea, I know. Tell us about things you enjoy doing. Tell us about the funny things that we do - we can laugh at ourselves. One more thing, be thankful, and be grateful.
Walter and Peggy’s son Brad is now 34 years old. His life hasn’t changed much from the little boy who broke things and whose friends were always getting caught doing something wrong. Brad still can weave a good story. But, now Walter and Peggy are sitting beside Brad’s bed in a hospital as his body slowly shuts down. He’s dying. It is only a matter of time. He looks at his parents with wonder and amazement. They hold his hand with grace and compassion.
Let us pray.
“Lord, Jesus help us to love those who are around us. You have given us families - children and parents. Help us to express our love to them in our words as we say “I love you.” Jesus, grant to us the insight and the ability to make the choices in our lives to show each other the love you have for us. Amen.”
Copyright © 2008 First Baptist Church of DeKalb
Last modified: May 11 2008 15:32:58.